कुछ खट्टी, कुछ मीठी ! Hindi Jokes!

* इक आदमी अपनी बिवी का अन्तिम संस्कार करके घर जा रहा था. अचानक बिजली चमकी, बादल गरजे, जोर से बारिस शुरू हो गई. दुखी आदमी: लगता है पहुँच गई.

* डाक्टर : तुम्हारी बिवी और तुम दोनोका ब्लड ग्रुप एक ही है.
पति : होगा क्यों नहीं ३० साल से मेरा खून जो पी रही है!

* भिखारी: साब १० रुपैया देना चाय पीना है.
आदमी: लेकिन चाय तो ५ रुपैया मे आता है.
भिखारी: पर साब गर्लफ्रेंड भी तो है.
आदमी: भिखारी होकर भी गर्लफ्रेंड बनाली?
भिखारी: ना साब, गर्लफ्रेंड ने भिखारी बना दिया.

* आसमाँ में तुम, समुन्दर में तुम, जमिन पे तुम, हवा में तुम, जहाँ भी देखो तुम ही तुम हो. डोमेक्स वाली आंटी ठीक ही कहती थी, कीटाणु हर जगह होता है.

* गुड मर्निंग! आप ये सोच रहे होंगे की रात को गुड मर्निंग? अरे भाई सिम्पल है! फोन मेरा, पैसे मेरे, मेसेज मेरा, तो मर्जी भी मेरी! जो मेरी मर्जी आयेगा, वो भेजूँगा तुम्हे क्या.

* चाँदनी रात थी, नदीका किनारा था, आसमान में तारों का नजारा था, एक बिहारी प्रेमी ने प्यार से मुस्कुराते हुए अपनी बिहारन प्रेमीकासे कहा: अरे ओ सुषमा, बीडी पिएगी?

* लड़का: क्या मैं तुम्हारा हाथ चूम सकता हूँ?
लड़की: क्यों हरामजादे, मेरे होठो पे कोई कांडे लगे है?

* लड़का: चलो किसी विरान जगह चलते हैं!
लड़की: तुम ऐसी वैसी हरकत तो नहीं करोगे?
लड़का: बिल्कुल नहीं.
लड़की: तो फ़िर रहेने दो...

* नारदमुनि धरती पर मदिरा पीने आए, १२ बोतल पीने के बाद भी जब उन्हें खास कुछ असर ना देखने पर ठेके वाला ने पूछा: साब आपको क्यों नही चढ्ती?
नारदमुनि: मैं भगवान हूँ.
ठेकेवाला: लो साले को भी चढ़ गई.

*एंग्री बोस: तुम ने कभी उल्लू देखा है?
कामदार (सर झुकाते हुए): नहीं सर.
बोस: निचे क्या देख रहे हो मेरी तरफ़ देखो.

* एक सुंदर लड़की: इस ड्रेस का क्या प्राइस कितना है?
दूकानदार: सिर्फ़ ५ किस.
लड़की: और इस ड्रेस का?
दूकानदार: १० किस.
लड़की: दोनों ड्रेस पैक करदो. बिल मेरी दादी पे करेगी.

* एकबार जंगल में सारी जानवरकी भेला हुई. उसमे पान पराग पानमसला बाँटी गई . सारे जानवर खाने लगे, बस एक जिराफ को छोड़कर. क्यों?
क्यों की ऊँचे लोग ऊँचे पसंद - 'मानिकचंद'.

गोलमाल ! GOLMAAL!

GOLMAAL Synopsis:
The story revolves around the lives of Gopal (Ajay Devgan), Lucky (Tusshar Kapoor), Mahadev (Arshad Warsi) and Laxmi (Sharman Joshi) - 4 guys bound together by their child like notoriety, aimlessness and petty business of conning people for fun and money.

Gopal is the wisest and the wickedest of them all and the motto of his life is to eat, drink and be merry (Kal Kya Hoga Kisko Pata…) Mahadev and Lucky are also of the opinion that only idiots work and wise men use them in more ways than one to make their life comfortable. Among these 4, there is Laxmi, who is a sincere and god-fearing guy and a bright student.

At one point, due to their notorious acts, the dean of their college throws them out of the hostel and they have nowhere to go. Gopal the wittiest and the biggest bully of them all, tells them about a bungalow which is inhabited by an old blind couple, whose son daughter-in-law and grandson are in America.

Gopal plans to enter the bungalow pretending to be Prashant (the blind couple's grandson) He also asks the rest of them to move in with him - the only condition however is that everyone, except for Gopal would always remain silent. This bizarre sequence leads to much confusion throughout the film creating lots of comedy.

THREE BLONDES!

Three Blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So y'all want to be cops, huh?" The blondes all nodded.

The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a picture and said, "To be a police officer, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities such as scars and so forth."

So he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds. "Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"

The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"

The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!"

The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office. The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said, "What about you? Notice anything unusual, or outstanding about this man?"

"Yes! He only has one ear!"

The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face. Of course you can only see one ear! You're excused too!"

The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office. The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time , but......" He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"

The blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses."

The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"

The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, Helloooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses."

WHY MEN HAVE BETTER FRIENDS.......

Friendship between Women;
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best
friends. None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship between Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he
had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends, eight of which confirmed that he had slept over , and two said that he
was still there.

Some Thoughts!

• Never start a project until you've picked out someone to blame.

• If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry! Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!

• What is the definition of a Lesbian?
- Yet another Damn Woman trying to do a Man's job!!

• Easiest way to die:
1. Have a cigar daily - you will die 10 years early.
2. Have drinks daily - you will die 30 years early.
3. But love someone truly - you will die daily!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008!

I WISH EVERYONE OF YOU HAVE VERY VERY VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008. MAY THE COMING YEAR BRING US PEACE AND PROSPERITY TO ALL AROUND THE WORLD AND MAKE THIS WORLD TO LIVE THE BEST PLACE IN THE UNIVERSE!

Funny Video, you can't beleive it!

I found this funny video in You Tube. LOL. You can't beleive how funny it is unless you watch to the end. I posted this video @sajha.com and got the excited responses. So that I'm adding to my blog also. If you know a little bit of Newari,that will make it more funnier. It is in Hindi. Trust me, it will make you LotPot. Your comments are always welcome.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to all my readers.

Who is this guy?

This house belongs to him.


He plays golf here, I wonder nobody can blame him.


He wants to make people know, he do cares about the environment, so this is his model car for 22nd century.


He bought the cold store in India, which sell alcohol to the minor; that is illegal, but who cares?.


He gave wrong person to manage the store. you know why, take a closer look what's on the window.


You know now his manager is a wrong guy. Check out the billboard sign in front of the store to get some foreign customer.

Can you guess who is that guy?
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Why Bush is called Bush?