Something Americans should ponder as they pump gas in their SUV's and speed down the highways...
Here's where your $$$ goes...
As their oil reserves are rapidly being depleted, UAE is trying to diversify into a new business to replace oil...tourism. Looks like they have a plan!
Dubai in 1990
The same street in 2003
Last year
The madness. Dubai is said to currently have 15-25% of all the world's cranes .
The Dubai Waterfront. When completed it will become the largest waterfront development in the world .
All of this was built in the last 5 years, including that island that looks like a palm tree.
The Palm Islands in Dubai. New Dutch dredging technology was used to create these massive man made islands. They are the largest artificial islands in the world and can be seen from space. Three of these Palms will be made with the last one being the largest of them all.
Upon completion, the resort will have 2,000 villas, 40 luxury hotels, shopping centers, movie theaters, and many other facilities. It is expected to support a population of approximately 500,000 people. It is advertised as being visible from the moon.
The World Islands. 300 artificially created islands in the shape of the world. Each island will have an estimated cost of $25-30 million.
The Burj al-Arab hotel in Dubai. The worlds tallest hotel. Considered the only '7 star' hotel and the most luxurious hotel in the world. It stands on an artificial island in the sea.
Hydropolis, the world's first underwater hotel. Entirely built in Germany and then assembled in Dubai, it is scheduled to be completed by 2009 after many delays.
The Burj Dubai. Construction began in 2005 and is expected to be complete by 2008.At an estimated height of over 800 meters, it will easily be world's tallest building when finished. It will be almost 40% taller than the current tallest building, the Yaipei 101.
This is what downtown Dubai will look like around 2008-2009. More than 140 stories of the Burj Dubai have already been completed. It is already the worlds tallest man made structure and it is still not scheduled to be completed for at least another year.
The Al Burj. This will be the centerpiece of the Dubai Waterfront. Once completed it will take over the title of the tallest structure in the world from the Burj Dubai.
Recently it was announced that the final height of this tower will be 1200 meters. That would make it more than 30 percent taller than the Burj Dubai and three times as tall as the Empire State Building.
The Burj al Alam, or The World Tower. Upon completion it will rank as the world's highest hotel. It is expected to be finished by 2009. At 480 meters it will only be 28 meters shorter than the Taipei 101.
The Trump International Hotel & Tower, which will be the centerpiece of one of the palm islands, The Palm Jumeirah.
Dubailand. Currently, the largest amusement park collection in the world is Walt Disney World Resort in Orlando, which is also the largest single-site employer in the United states with 58,000 employees.
Dubailand will be twice the size.
Dubailand will be built on 3 billion square feet (107 miles^2) at an estimated $20 billion price tag. The site will include a purported 45 mega projects and 200 hundred other smaller projects.
Dubai Sports City. A huge collection of sports arenas located in Dubailand.
Currently, the Walt Disney World Resort is the #1 tourist destination in the world. Once fully completed, Dubailand will easily take over that title since it is expected to attract 200,000 visitors daily.
The Dubai Marina is an entirely man made development that will contain over 200 highrise buildings when finished. It will be home to some of the tallest residential structures in the world. The completed first phase of the project is shown. Most of the other high rise buildings will be finished by 2009-2010.
The Dubai Mall will be the largest shopping mall in the world with over 9 million square feet of shopping and around 1000 stores. It will be completed in 2008.
Ski Dubai, which is already open, is the largest indoor skiing facility in the world. This is a rendered image of another future indoor skiing facility that is being planned.
Some of the tallest buildings in the world, such as Ocean Heights and The Princess Tower, which will be the largest residential building in the world at over a 100 stories, will line the Dubai Marina.The UAE Spaceport would be the first spaceport in the world if construction ever gets under way.
And ... The Dubai Metro system, once completed, will become the largest fully automated rail system in the world. The Dubai World Central International Airport will become the largest airport in size when it is completed. It will also eventually become the busiest airport in the world, based on passenger volume. There are more construction workers in Dubai than there are actual citizens.
Source:Email.
Welcome to Inashrestha's Blog; Different way to blog :D
Friday, February 29, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Hindi Jokes-2!!
• कभि कभि मेरे दिल में खयाल आता है,
कभि कभि मेरे दिल में खयाल आता है,
आज नहिं आया,
कहा ना कभि कभि आता है...।
• टीचर क्लास में बच्चोको पढाते हुए: 'ए' फर?
क्लास: एप्पल ।
टीचर: फिर से, 'ए' फर?
क्लास: एप्पल
टीचर: जोर से बोलो
क्लास: जय माता दी!!!
• ऐसा है प्यार हमारा
मैं किश्ति तु किनारा,
मैं धनुष तु तीर
मैं मटर तु पनीर,
मैं बारिश तु बादल
मैं राजमा तु चावल,
मैं हट तु कूल
मैं अप्रिल तु फूल...हा हा हा!!
• लड्की: 'अगर तुम मुझे किस करनेकि कोशिश करोगे तो मैं शोर मचा दुङ्गी।'
लड्का: लेकिन यहाँ तो दूर-दूर तक कोइ नहीं है।
लड्की: मुझे पता है, लेकिन फर्मालिटि तो पूरी करनी पडेगी…
• खुदा बचाये हमें इन हसीनों से, नाजनीनों से, दिलनशीनों से, जशीनों से... पर इन्हे कौन बचाये हम कमीनों से...
• बिहारका पपुलेसन स्लोगन: "हम दो हमारे दो, उन्के बाद जितने भि हों, सबको पन्जाब और हरियाणा भेज दो।"
• शराब एक बिमारी है जो सारे समाज को खतम कर रहि है। आओ मिलकर इस बिमारी को खतम करें। एक बोतल तुम खतम करो, एक बोतल हम खतम करेंगे।
• शराबी आँख दान करने गया, काउन्टर पर क्लर्क ने पुछा:"कुछ कहेना चाहते हो?"
शराबी: "जिसे लगाओ, उसे बस इतना बता देना यह दो पेग के बाद खुलती है।"
• ओसामा बिग बी से: 'कैसे हैं?'
बिग बी: "बस, कभी खुशी कभी गम । और तुम?"
ओसामा: 'बस, कभी गोला कभी बम।'
• तुम हँसते रहो, हँसते रहो, हँसते रहो, हँसते रहो, मुस्कुराते रहो, सदा खिलखिलाते रहो, खुश रहो, मेरा क्या हैं लोग तुम्हे हि पागल कहेंगे! हा हा हा!
कभि कभि मेरे दिल में खयाल आता है,
आज नहिं आया,
कहा ना कभि कभि आता है...।
• टीचर क्लास में बच्चोको पढाते हुए: 'ए' फर?
क्लास: एप्पल ।
टीचर: फिर से, 'ए' फर?
क्लास: एप्पल
टीचर: जोर से बोलो
क्लास: जय माता दी!!!
• ऐसा है प्यार हमारा
मैं किश्ति तु किनारा,
मैं धनुष तु तीर
मैं मटर तु पनीर,
मैं बारिश तु बादल
मैं राजमा तु चावल,
मैं हट तु कूल
मैं अप्रिल तु फूल...हा हा हा!!
• लड्की: 'अगर तुम मुझे किस करनेकि कोशिश करोगे तो मैं शोर मचा दुङ्गी।'
लड्का: लेकिन यहाँ तो दूर-दूर तक कोइ नहीं है।
लड्की: मुझे पता है, लेकिन फर्मालिटि तो पूरी करनी पडेगी…
• खुदा बचाये हमें इन हसीनों से, नाजनीनों से, दिलनशीनों से, जशीनों से... पर इन्हे कौन बचाये हम कमीनों से...
• बिहारका पपुलेसन स्लोगन: "हम दो हमारे दो, उन्के बाद जितने भि हों, सबको पन्जाब और हरियाणा भेज दो।"
• शराब एक बिमारी है जो सारे समाज को खतम कर रहि है। आओ मिलकर इस बिमारी को खतम करें। एक बोतल तुम खतम करो, एक बोतल हम खतम करेंगे।
• शराबी आँख दान करने गया, काउन्टर पर क्लर्क ने पुछा:"कुछ कहेना चाहते हो?"
शराबी: "जिसे लगाओ, उसे बस इतना बता देना यह दो पेग के बाद खुलती है।"
• ओसामा बिग बी से: 'कैसे हैं?'
बिग बी: "बस, कभी खुशी कभी गम । और तुम?"
ओसामा: 'बस, कभी गोला कभी बम।'
• तुम हँसते रहो, हँसते रहो, हँसते रहो, हँसते रहो, मुस्कुराते रहो, सदा खिलखिलाते रहो, खुश रहो, मेरा क्या हैं लोग तुम्हे हि पागल कहेंगे! हा हा हा!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
What a difference 60 years makes..!!!
President Bush did make a bad mistake in the war on terrorism. But the mistake was not his decision to go to war in Iraq. Bush's mistake came in his belief that this country is the same one his father fought for in WWII. It is not.
Back then, they had just come out of a vicious depression. The country was steeled by the hardship of that depression, but they still believed fervently in this country. They knew that the people had elected their leaders, so it was the people's duty to back those leaders. Therefore, when the war broke out the people came together, rallied behind, and stuck with their leaders, whether they had voted for them or not or whether the war was going badly or not.
And war was just as distasteful and the anguish just as great then as it is today. Often there were more casualties in one day in WWII than we have had in the entire Iraq war. But that did not matter. The people stuck with the President because it was their patriotic duty. Americans put aside their differences in WWII and worked together to win that war.
Everyone from every strata of society, from young to old pitched in. Small children pulled little wagons around to gather scrap metal for the war effort. Grade school students saved their pennies to buy stamps for war bonds to help the effort.
Men who were too old or medically 4F lied about their age or condition trying their best to join the military. Women doubled their work to keep things going at home. Harsh rationing of everything from gasoline to soap, to butter was imposed, yet there was very little complaining.
You never heard prominent people on the radio belittling the President. Interestingly enough in those days there were no fat cat actors and entertainers who ran off to visit and fawn over dictators of hostile countries and complain to them about our President. Instead, they made upbeat films and entertained our troops to help the troops' morale. And a bunch even enlisted.
And imagine this: Teachers in schools actually started the day off with a Pledge of Allegiance and with prayers for our country and our troops! Back then, no newspaper would have dared point out certain weak spots in our cities where bombs could be set off to cause the maximum damage. No newspaper would have dared complain about what we were doing to catch spies. A newspaper would have been laughed out of existence if it had complained that German or Japanese soldiers were being 'tortured' by being forced to wear women's underwear , or subjected to interrogation by a woman , or being scared by a dog or did not have air conditioning.
There were a lot of things different back then. We were not subjected to a constant bombardment of pornography, perversion and promiscuity in movies or on radio. We did not have legions of crackheads, dope pushers and armed gangs roaming our streets.
No, President Bush did not make a mistake in his handling of terrorism. He made the mistake of believing that we still had the courage and fortitude of our fathers. He believed that this was still the country that our fathers fought so dearly to preserve.
It is not the same country. It is now a cross between Sodom and Gomorra and the Land of Oz. We did unite for a short while after 9/11, but our attitude changed when we found out that defending our country would require some sacrifices.
We are in great danger. The terrorists are fanatic Muslims. They believe that it is okay, even their duty to kill anyone who will not convert to Islam. It has been estimated that about one third or over three hundred million Muslims are
sympathetic to the terrorists because...Hitler and Tojo combined did not have nearly that many potential recruits.
So...we either win it - or lose it - and you ain't gonna like losing.
America is not at war. The military is at war. America is at the mall.
Source: Email, Author: Unknown
Back then, they had just come out of a vicious depression. The country was steeled by the hardship of that depression, but they still believed fervently in this country. They knew that the people had elected their leaders, so it was the people's duty to back those leaders. Therefore, when the war broke out the people came together, rallied behind, and stuck with their leaders, whether they had voted for them or not or whether the war was going badly or not.
And war was just as distasteful and the anguish just as great then as it is today. Often there were more casualties in one day in WWII than we have had in the entire Iraq war. But that did not matter. The people stuck with the President because it was their patriotic duty. Americans put aside their differences in WWII and worked together to win that war.
Everyone from every strata of society, from young to old pitched in. Small children pulled little wagons around to gather scrap metal for the war effort. Grade school students saved their pennies to buy stamps for war bonds to help the effort.
Men who were too old or medically 4F lied about their age or condition trying their best to join the military. Women doubled their work to keep things going at home. Harsh rationing of everything from gasoline to soap, to butter was imposed, yet there was very little complaining.
You never heard prominent people on the radio belittling the President. Interestingly enough in those days there were no fat cat actors and entertainers who ran off to visit and fawn over dictators of hostile countries and complain to them about our President. Instead, they made upbeat films and entertained our troops to help the troops' morale. And a bunch even enlisted.
And imagine this: Teachers in schools actually started the day off with a Pledge of Allegiance and with prayers for our country and our troops! Back then, no newspaper would have dared point out certain weak spots in our cities where bombs could be set off to cause the maximum damage. No newspaper would have dared complain about what we were doing to catch spies. A newspaper would have been laughed out of existence if it had complained that German or Japanese soldiers were being 'tortured' by being forced to wear women's underwear , or subjected to interrogation by a woman , or being scared by a dog or did not have air conditioning.
There were a lot of things different back then. We were not subjected to a constant bombardment of pornography, perversion and promiscuity in movies or on radio. We did not have legions of crackheads, dope pushers and armed gangs roaming our streets.
No, President Bush did not make a mistake in his handling of terrorism. He made the mistake of believing that we still had the courage and fortitude of our fathers. He believed that this was still the country that our fathers fought so dearly to preserve.
It is not the same country. It is now a cross between Sodom and Gomorra and the Land of Oz. We did unite for a short while after 9/11, but our attitude changed when we found out that defending our country would require some sacrifices.
We are in great danger. The terrorists are fanatic Muslims. They believe that it is okay, even their duty to kill anyone who will not convert to Islam. It has been estimated that about one third or over three hundred million Muslims are
sympathetic to the terrorists because...Hitler and Tojo combined did not have nearly that many potential recruits.
So...we either win it - or lose it - and you ain't gonna like losing.
America is not at war. The military is at war. America is at the mall.
Source: Email, Author: Unknown
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
मलाई मनपर्ने नेवारी गीत -१!
कत्ति हाँसो र ठट्टा मात्र गर्ने, अब कहिले काँहि यसो सिरियस पनि हुनु पर्यो नि होइन त? यो मलाई मनपर्ने नेवारी गीतहरु मध्येबाट छानेको।
स्वयगु मन जुल रे, छन्त छक हाकन...
सपानाश्रीको स्वरमा।
स्वयगु मन जुल रे, छन्त छक हाकन...
सपानाश्रीको स्वरमा।
चौतारी बासी भउते को चर्तिकला - २!!
क्रिष्टमस ट्री
गतसाल डिसेम्बरको एकदिन भउते र बिर्खे मिलि क्रिष्टमस ट्री काट्न जाने सल्लाह गरे। भनेको दिनमा दुबैजना हातहतियारले सु-सज्जित भएर जंगल तर्फ लागे । जंगलको बिचमा पुगे पछि बिर्खेले रुख छान्ने अनि भउतेले काटेर लडाएसि हाँगा छिमल्ने निधो भयो। उनिहरुले पहिलो रुख पनि ढाले ।
"भउते, ल भन यो रुख कस्तो लाग्यो तँलाई ?"
"हुन्न बिर्खे यो त। लौ अर्को छानेर काटुम्।" खोइ किन हो भउतेले असहमति जनायो। उनिहरुले अर्को राम्रो सुरिलो रुख रोजेर लडाए।
"ल भन के छ तेरो विचार?"
"भो नाईं, यो पनि भएन। आर्को खोजुम्।" भउते यसपाली पनि मानेन ।
यसै गरी उनिहरु राम्रो रुख खोज्दै जाँदा रात पनि पर्यो। भोक, प्यास र थकाइले चूर दुबै जना अझै अनिर्णित भए। अन्तिममा केहि सीप लागेन, भउतेको चित्त बुझाम्नै सकेन बिर्खे बुढाले ।
"हेर भउते, अब रात पनि परि सक्यो। घराँ स्वास्नी कुरेर बसेकिछे। अझै ढिला भो भने चैं बूढीले मार्छे।लौ तँ आफै भन के गर्ने हो छिटो गरुम् ।"
" ल ल ठिक छ। लौ अब जुन रुख भेट्टाइन्छ त्यहि लिएर जाने चाहे त्यस्मा बत्ति होस् या नहोस्...।"
यो फोटु चैं भउतेले ल्याएर बत्ति जोडेपछि हाम्ले खिचेको हो क्या, मौका मिला'र। खित! खित!! खित!!!
गतसाल डिसेम्बरको एकदिन भउते र बिर्खे मिलि क्रिष्टमस ट्री काट्न जाने सल्लाह गरे। भनेको दिनमा दुबैजना हातहतियारले सु-सज्जित भएर जंगल तर्फ लागे । जंगलको बिचमा पुगे पछि बिर्खेले रुख छान्ने अनि भउतेले काटेर लडाएसि हाँगा छिमल्ने निधो भयो। उनिहरुले पहिलो रुख पनि ढाले ।
"भउते, ल भन यो रुख कस्तो लाग्यो तँलाई ?"
"हुन्न बिर्खे यो त। लौ अर्को छानेर काटुम्।" खोइ किन हो भउतेले असहमति जनायो। उनिहरुले अर्को राम्रो सुरिलो रुख रोजेर लडाए।
"ल भन के छ तेरो विचार?"
"भो नाईं, यो पनि भएन। आर्को खोजुम्।" भउते यसपाली पनि मानेन ।
यसै गरी उनिहरु राम्रो रुख खोज्दै जाँदा रात पनि पर्यो। भोक, प्यास र थकाइले चूर दुबै जना अझै अनिर्णित भए। अन्तिममा केहि सीप लागेन, भउतेको चित्त बुझाम्नै सकेन बिर्खे बुढाले ।
"हेर भउते, अब रात पनि परि सक्यो। घराँ स्वास्नी कुरेर बसेकिछे। अझै ढिला भो भने चैं बूढीले मार्छे।लौ तँ आफै भन के गर्ने हो छिटो गरुम् ।"
" ल ल ठिक छ। लौ अब जुन रुख भेट्टाइन्छ त्यहि लिएर जाने चाहे त्यस्मा बत्ति होस् या नहोस्...।"
यो फोटु चैं भउतेले ल्याएर बत्ति जोडेपछि हाम्ले खिचेको हो क्या, मौका मिला'र। खित! खित!! खित!!!
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Picture of Kathmandu!
Saturday, February 16, 2008
चौतारी बासी भउते को चर्तिकला - १
एउ फेरि बिर्खे जिम्मल इण्डिया घुमेर गाम फिरे। अब गामको अरु कोइ इण्डिया नगा। अनि फेरि बूढाले रेल चडेर आको भनेसि के के नै फुर्ति हुने भो क्यार, भूईंमै खुट्टा थे'न तेति खेर। अनि सबैले सोध्ने भए, ए त्यो रेल भन्या कस्तो हुन्छ भनेर। बूढा पनि के कम; का...लो, ला...मो, मुखाटि धुआँ फाल्च तेस्ले भनेर सुनाचन्। अनि भउते बज्जे लाई त्यो रेल भन्ने एउपाली नचडि छाड्दिन भनेर कसैलाई नभनि इण्डिया पुगेचन्। त्यस पछि त हो नि मैले भउते हराको सूचना निकाल्या। अनि मान्छे चौपारीआँ जम्मा हुन थाल्या। त्यो बेलाँ त भउतेले नाना भाँति बहाना बनार टाल्यो। तर खाँट्टि कुरो त बूढा रेल चढ्न भनेर पो गा रचन् त। अस्ति त्यो लमिनि दिदिको भट्टिआँ बसेर मजाले भट्टितेल खाचन अनि यि सबै भट्याका हुन्। घरा'टि मट्टितेल किन्न हिड्या रे, बजाराँ कईं नपासि मट्टितेलको साटो तेइ भट्टितेल भे नि हुन्च भनेर खान छिरेचन्। फेरि बूढालाई खान पुनि पर्दैन सुँगेसि लाउच क्या र , अनि पुरानो कुरा भट्याई हाले ।
त्यो इण्डिया पुगेसि बूढालाई रेल काँ'टि चढ्ने भन्ने था भे'न । खालि उसले बिर्खे जिम्माल ले भन्या सम्झिदो रच- का...लो हुन्च, ला...मो हुन्च, मुखाटि धुआँ फाल्च । बसाटि ओर्लेसि रेल खोज्न भनेर यता उति नजर लाचन्। एउटा कालो, लम्बू धोति(इण्डियन-कसैलाइ होच्याम्न भन्या चैं होइन,मैले त भउतेले जे भन्यो जस्तालाई टिनको छानो बेलि बिस्तार ला हुम् । कुट्ने भे तेइ भउतेलाई कुटम्) बिंडी पिम्दै, भित्ता तिर फर्केर २ नं गर्दो रच। पछाडिट भउतेले ठ्याक्कै का...लो, ला...मो, मुखाटि धुआँ फालेको देखो अनि दौडेर त्यो काले को ढाडाँ बुइ चढ्यो। त्यो काले पुनि अचानक के के न भो भन्ठानेर कुलेलम् ठ्योको, भउतेलाई बोकेर । एउछिन पछि काले रोकियो । "कौन हे आप?" कालेले सोध्यो।
"नकरा म टिकिट को पैसा दि हाल्चु नि। बरु मलाई दिल्लिसँ पुर्याइ दे। म त इण्डिया घुम्न आको।"
त्यो इण्डिया पुगेसि बूढालाई रेल काँ'टि चढ्ने भन्ने था भे'न । खालि उसले बिर्खे जिम्माल ले भन्या सम्झिदो रच- का...लो हुन्च, ला...मो हुन्च, मुखाटि धुआँ फाल्च । बसाटि ओर्लेसि रेल खोज्न भनेर यता उति नजर लाचन्। एउटा कालो, लम्बू धोति(इण्डियन-कसैलाइ होच्याम्न भन्या चैं होइन,मैले त भउतेले जे भन्यो जस्तालाई टिनको छानो बेलि बिस्तार ला हुम् । कुट्ने भे तेइ भउतेलाई कुटम्) बिंडी पिम्दै, भित्ता तिर फर्केर २ नं गर्दो रच। पछाडिट भउतेले ठ्याक्कै का...लो, ला...मो, मुखाटि धुआँ फालेको देखो अनि दौडेर त्यो काले को ढाडाँ बुइ चढ्यो। त्यो काले पुनि अचानक के के न भो भन्ठानेर कुलेलम् ठ्योको, भउतेलाई बोकेर । एउछिन पछि काले रोकियो । "कौन हे आप?" कालेले सोध्यो।
"नकरा म टिकिट को पैसा दि हाल्चु नि। बरु मलाई दिल्लिसँ पुर्याइ दे। म त इण्डिया घुम्न आको।"
Friday, February 15, 2008
हेरा फेरी! HERA PHERI!
Synopsis:
Comedy seems to be in-thing these days in Bollywood. Every director is trying to have a go at it. Priyadarshan, who is known for making serious films, too has tried to cash in on the comedy craze with Hera-Feri.
The film is about two unemployed youth who are struggling in the big bad world of Mumbai searching for a job. Shyam (Sunil Shetty) is looking forward to a job in a bank, in which his late father used to work.
Raju (Akshay Kumar) too is struggling to manage with the complications of life. His mother is in an old age home who thinks that her son is a successful businessman from Calcutta.
Now, as it happens in a masala film, both Shyam and Raju become tenants in Babu Rao Apte's (Paresh Rawal) house, a drunkard who has a kind heart.
Shyam has lot of debts to pay. He has to compete for the bank job with Anuradha Panikar (Tabu), whose father also met a similar fate. Both are at each other's throat, and not ready to give up, but Shyam decides to back out when he comes to know Anuradha’s problems.
Om Puri plays Kharak Singh, a lovable and innocent guy, who has lent Rs 35,000 to Shyam and needs it desperately to marry off his sister. He comes to town looking for Shyam to get his money back.
There is another interesting twist in the story. A dreaded gangster Kabeera (Gulshan Grover) kidnaps the grand child of a big industrialist (Kulbhushan Kharbanda) and calls up the trio for ransom. So all three find themselves in a tricky situation, by a wrong number. What do they do? Watch the movie to know that.
Marriage Counseling-2!!
Different Phases of a man:
After engagement: SUPERMAN
After Marriage: GENTLEMAN
After 10 years: WATCHMAN
After 20 years: DOBERMAN
********************
A man, who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A man, who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE.
A man, who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND
********************
If you are married please ignore this massage, for everyone else: Happy Independence Day.
********************
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother & said, "I've found a man just like father!"
Mother replied, "So what do u want from me, sympathy?
********************
Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!
********************
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
********************
Why men get married? Because after he died, if he went to heaven feels like amazing, or if you went to hell feels like home.
********************
Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
********************
Life is a paradox-
what you want you don't get(love)
what you get, you don't enjoy(marriage)
what you enjoy is not permanent(galfriend)
what is permanent is boring(wife)
********************
After engagement: SUPERMAN
After Marriage: GENTLEMAN
After 10 years: WATCHMAN
After 20 years: DOBERMAN
********************
A man, who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A man, who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE.
A man, who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND
********************
If you are married please ignore this massage, for everyone else: Happy Independence Day.
********************
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother & said, "I've found a man just like father!"
Mother replied, "So what do u want from me, sympathy?
********************
Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!
********************
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
********************
Why men get married? Because after he died, if he went to heaven feels like amazing, or if you went to hell feels like home.
********************
Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
********************
Life is a paradox-
what you want you don't get(love)
what you get, you don't enjoy(marriage)
what you enjoy is not permanent(galfriend)
what is permanent is boring(wife)
********************
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Marriage Counseling-1!
• Whats the difference between Complete & Finished?
If you find good a wife you are complete otherwise you are finished.
• Have you heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of crocodiles? He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel to the crocodiles.
• Two men are talking.
1st: I got married becoz I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes.
2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons!
• Every Man needs a Beautiful wife, intelligent wife, caring wife, loving wife, sexy wife, adjusting & cooperative wife, but it’s sad that law allows only one wife.
• A man's silence can break a woman's heart into a thousand pieces while a woman's silence can give a man a thousand moments of peace!
• Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
• Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?
Husband: I won't have to pay to you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.
• Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
• Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. You are beautiful, I love you.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I’m blue. You are my headache, one day I’ll kill you.
• Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
• It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged Marriage.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
• It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives!
• There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it.
• Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
• Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
If you find good a wife you are complete otherwise you are finished.
• Have you heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of crocodiles? He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel to the crocodiles.
• Two men are talking.
1st: I got married becoz I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes.
2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons!
• Every Man needs a Beautiful wife, intelligent wife, caring wife, loving wife, sexy wife, adjusting & cooperative wife, but it’s sad that law allows only one wife.
• A man's silence can break a woman's heart into a thousand pieces while a woman's silence can give a man a thousand moments of peace!
• Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
• Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?
Husband: I won't have to pay to you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.
• Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
• Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. You are beautiful, I love you.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I’m blue. You are my headache, one day I’ll kill you.
• Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
• It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged Marriage.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
• It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives!
• There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it.
• Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
• Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
Monday, February 4, 2008
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