Marriage Counseling-1!

• Whats the difference between Complete & Finished?
If you find good a wife you are complete otherwise you are finished.

• Have you heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of crocodiles? He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel to the crocodiles.

• Two men are talking.
1st: I got married becoz I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes.
2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons!

• Every Man needs a Beautiful wife, intelligent wife, caring wife, loving wife, sexy wife, adjusting & cooperative wife, but it’s sad that law allows only one wife.

• A man's silence can break a woman's heart into a thousand pieces while a woman's silence can give a man a thousand moments of peace!

• Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

• Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?
Husband: I won't have to pay to you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.

• Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

• Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. You are beautiful, I love you.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I’m blue. You are my headache, one day I’ll kill you.

• Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

• It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged Marriage.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

• It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives!

• There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it.

• Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

• Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!